Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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