i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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