Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she woke up with a sticky ear
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
