420 ftw
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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