I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
