I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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