do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
