Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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