need another drink. this is the easiest way
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Enjoy the penises
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
