You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
