man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Randomize
