Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
