Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
