your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
