Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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