the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
His hands were made for my vagina.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
