ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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