WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
