someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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