just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
