Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I think I am morally bankrupt
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
