They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
