I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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