I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
