Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
