its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
