Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
