who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
