The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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