I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
