And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
