I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
oh god the rape fog is back!
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
