At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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