i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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