You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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