Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
