I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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