I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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