I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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