I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
