College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
