I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
