I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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