# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
