she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
