My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
