Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my being single is dangerous.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Randomize
