Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
