it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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