I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
