you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
this will be a night to untag.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
