just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
